Well, everybody, we have wrapped up another trip to the promised land, by way of a mini tour-within-a-tour of southern California, with altogether too much time spent inside the entertainment fishbowl known as Hollywoodland. We braved thrills, chills, the Beverly Hills and the unsolicited advances of City Bus drivers. More on that one.
We kicked ‘er off in San Diego, after a masher marathon driving event across the southern deserts, and found solace in the relative mildness of the coast. I love our friends in Phoenix, but 80 degrees Fahrenheit is NOT a cool evening, it is a decent spring/summer day back home. We started things off at the Kensington Club with Stage 11, and then set off for the heart of the beast: grimy West Hollywood.
We spent the afternoon cruising about, people watching in Hollyweird, hoping to spot a celebrity burnout, maybe a Kardashian or two before they put on their face. We ran some errands, drank smoothies, and kept our eyes peeled for any of the esteemed members of the LA-area porno community. No dice on that front, but I think we might have seen Zach Galifanakis rummaging through a dumpster. Or a scruffy bearded homeless fellow. Oh, Hollywood.
We finished up our errand-running, and headed back to the venue to set up. We played in a Pop-Up Shop, a temporary space for art and culture to take place in. The space was sponsored by Jarritos, delicious sugary Mexican sodas. We bought some art that was being displayed, by local up-and-comer Mr. Richie Velazquez Dela Deso, purveyor of digital death and grime. Think of a kusty zombie Andy Warhol, and you’re getting warmer. We did our thing and linked up with another LA band, Burning Jet Black. We wrapped up and prepared to head up the coast to Santa Barbara, but Hollywoodland was not finished with us yet, no!
As we prepared to pull out, our tour bus got sick. The Freedom Eagle had come down with a cold, a coughing, sneezing, wheezy sputtering messiness, but thankfully, we have our own in-house car practitioner, Dr. Bradshaw, on call for such events.
This was a time setback for sure, but paved the way for the weirdest thing to happen to us in Hollywood yet. In the downtime, Garret went a wandering about West Hollywood, where he must have seemed lost or out of place, because a city bus pulled up to him and offered to give him a ride for a little ways.
The bus driver insisted that he sit up front. This was perhaps the first omen of things to come.
The bus was entirely empty, save for our Garret and the bus driver.
The bus was lit up with party lights, decorated with a disco ball.
This is where things truly got weird.
“Hey man,” began Mr. Bus Driver, “I’m not gay or anything, but, I just curious, could you, show me your penis?”
Garret declined the offer, and opted to walk the rest of the way, but he has the honor of being the first member of Stone Iris to be propositioned in Hollywood.
We spent the better part of the next day running between a bus station by Universal City and North Hollywood (No Ho), gathering mechanical medicinals for our Dead Lovin’ Mama, Bradley nursing her back to health slowly but surely. Towards the end the LAPD took an interest in our being parked in a place that is generally accepted to be not for parking (city bus terminal), but were generally receptive to the notion that we chose not to do the same on the side of the freeway. Eventually, our baby was coaxed back to health, and it was onwards to the last of the Californian tour dates. Cheers, Brad!
We made it to Whiskey Richard’s, in Santa Barbara, in the nick of time. We loaded in and set up in a flash, and we played our last set in Cali, for a couple months anyways. Thanks to our new pals from LA, we will be back down here soon enough, bros.
As we head north, though the Bay Area and onwards on the trail to Oregon, I watch the scenery here give way to desert, and it will soon enough transition back to the coastal forests of the North West. We are almost done in the US and A for this round, but we will be back in California soon enough.
But I tell ya what, we’re probably not going to be riding on any public transit in West Hollywood anytime soon.